Psychology of love and hate

They arrived to the psychologist visit. At the first moment they showed cold, allowing me to see the distance that separated them. When they started to talk I could appreciate the resentment and bitterness which underlined their words, were the criticism and the reproaches which opened a crater between them. They did not hear, they interrupted each other with accusations.

"This is the last bullet", they manifested at the end. However, their gaze was more focused on the separation that in the meeting. To hear them I found how hard was to believe that they loved each other in the past. Each one appeared in front of the other blurred, stripped of the qualities that a day were recognized and valued.

"From the beginning we had a lot of physical attraction between us, it was like a magnet that attracted us forever. Each time that we meet, we were felt joy to see us again, until one day we let ourselves be carried away by the passion and we started our love story. I liked all of it," she said with glowing eyes.

"I saw her as the woman more special than I had never known", he added without just looking at it, as if wanting to enjoy those feelings of long ago.

This story is repeated in the talks between friends, in their visits of the psychologists. Love can turn to hate when you are not careful. In scientific studies, among then the investigations of Sterberg, it was noted that the hatred could not be understood without the love already that both are closely related due to the similarity of their components.

The triangular theory of love argues that in love underlies three components: intimacy, the passion and the decision and commitment. These components are not static, are in constant interaction among them which give as a result the seven types of love: love, infatuation, empty love, romantic, sociable, fool and consummated.

On the other hand, the triangular theory of hatred is just the opposite of the same components. Denial of intimacy, which seeks the untying emotional and is powered by the rejection; passion in the hatred in the form of fury and commitment in the hatred which devalues the person to justify the abandonment.

Also the neurosciences have obtained results which help to better understand why it is so easy to move from love to hate. From a biological point of view, hatred enables many brain areas and many regions that are activated when you hate are the same as when you are in love.

The hatred is brewing in the small things that we not resolve properly, as occurs in the case of our partner, and this creates circles of fire in which many times just burn us. We began to throw gas on the fire when the other does not meet our expectations with regard to what we expect of the people loved and we began to accumulate complaints.

The heartache arrives with the negation of everything we thought and imagined about the other person, we do not value and appreciate its qualities anymore and we blur internally the image of that person unique and different who we fell in love with.

In this process there are usually at the beginning many attempts to cover up or justify the pain that produces the disappointment. However, progresses the experience of disagreement, converts the relationship in a big black dot, from which we only see the negative. At this point, it is already installed the hate in our hearts and established the mechanism of projection, we blame the other of our suffering and you hate because it leaves naked our weaknesses, our dependence and our insecurity.

The people most vulnerable to accommodate feelings of hate are those which have low self-esteem, because they feel attacked more easily than people sure of themselves. The insecurity that prevails in the people with a self-esteem devalued, coupled with comparisons, the feelings of inferiority, the low tolerance to the frustration, fear, the complex and intolerance, avoid to manage appropriately their emotions so they are sources of hatred in their personal and social relations.

The hatred corrodes who feel it; generates bad mood and may even lead to health problems such as insomnia, stress, anxiety or depression and considerably weakens the immune system.

The hatred equal to the love implies a "Installation". When we cease to be installed in the hatred, we recovered our ability to see the other in all its dimensions, and we can look from the loving feeling that favors the encounter.


Love and the Tarot

Love is a feeling that not knows limits; even people with more coldness of heart have experienced this feeling. Many people feel it and have been disappointed him. The Tarot of Love has an answer to all the questions that take place in their life. We talk a little bit about some Tarot cards that are in direct relation with love:

• Card of Lovers; is a card that says a lot by itself. Despite that its interpretation is related to the context of the situation, on a general level expresses and alludes to the feeling and connection that exists between two people.

• Two of Cups; it is very related to the monogamous relationships and also alludes to the symbolism of link and connection between two human beings. When interpreting it should be kept very into account aspects such as conditions of happiness of couple.

• Ten of Cups - is the representation of a type of brotherly love, as it is generated within the family core of human beings. The emergence of this card in the reading of the Tarot of Love of a person, indicates something positive with regard to the affective ties of his life.

• Four of Wands: is a card that alludes to the love from a security point of view and the good atmosphere that arises in each household. This card also represents the step of a relationship of single courtship, to something more serious as a compromise.

• Ten of Coins: in terms of love, this card reflects mainly the very well established relations in the long term.

• Ace of Cups: heralds the arrival of a new relationship that will enrich the life of the person and it is a beautiful card; resembles the feelings that emerge in adolescence.

• The Empress; is beautiful, beautiful and eloquent and this card represents the love in various aspects of being; is interpreted many times with maternal dyes and another not. It also represents sensuality and that makes it even more be interpreted as a symbol of union between people.

• The Emperor: from the point of view of the Tarot of Love, is seen as a symbol of loyalty and very long-term agreements; can also be misinterpreted if we do not analyze the specific situation of each person who is reading the Tarot.

The reading of the Tarot of Love is a very serious procedure and has to be taken into account by all readers of tarot at the global level; each context of reading is different and specific knowledge of each fortune teller, it is the key to the user of the service, will feel entirely comfortable with what was said.


Discovering new realities

The classical physics of the great Isaac Newton is based on observations related to everyday objects, since the fall of an apple to planets in orbit. Its laws were tested extensively since its discovery in the XVII century. But, when physicists began to create tools to investigate the tiny particles of atoms, discovered something that left them astonished: the physics of Newton was not working in the sub-atomic world. Throughout the twentieth century was creating a completely new scientific description to explain the world of the tiny. This new knowledge, known as quantum mechanics or quantum physics, does not come to replace the physics of Newton, who works and very well to explain the large objects, macroscopic. The new physics, in contrast, is discovered for reaching the subatomic world.

The universe is a miracle, as I would say the philosopher and mathematician Russian P. Ouspensky. There would appear two groups of laws that govern the universe. At the level of the daily lives of all of us, things are explained according to the laws of the dynamics and movement that discovered Newton (the laws explain the bodies in movement, they allow and calculate trajectories), as well as the law of gravity, etc. However, when we arrived to a smaller scale, at the level of the atoms, displays a different set of laws. Are the quantum laws.

In 1900, the German physicist Max Planck first used the term quantum applied to science. It comes from a Latin word that means simply sum or quantity, but is used to designate the smallest unit of energy or the matter.

What quantum theory has revealed leave us as stunned since it sounds like science fiction: the particles can be in two or more places at once. (See the movie "And thou what do you know?" for more information). Einstein said that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light, but quantum physics have demonstrated that the subatomic particles are communicated to appear instantly, regardless of the extension of the space. Although the instantaneous speed has been demonstrated by the quantum physics, who also referred to this in his teachings was Gurdjieff.

The classical physics was reductionist. It was based on the premise that only if you know the different parts, you can finally understand everything. The new physics is more organic and holistic; paints a picture of the universe as a unified whole, whose parties are interconnected and influence over each other.

Perhaps the most important thing is that quantum physics has cleared the sharp division between subject and object, between observer and observed, that has dominated the western science.

In quantum physics, the observer influences the observed object. There are no observers isolated from the mechanical universe, but that all participates in the universe.

The psychological and philosophical implications of these findings are extraordinary. Because if the observer is not impartial, therefore the interest settles in study to which notes, i.e. the attention of the study is directed toward the same mind of man. Therefore depth psychology and quantum mechanics are closely related. W.Heisenberg (Nobel Prize for Physics) argued that the mind was a factor inherent to the problem. Referred to the act of the measurement as to the "act of registering the result in the mind of the observer".

According to David Bohm, physical and at the same time disciple of Krishnamurti, quantum mechanics reveals that the reality is a unified whole in which everything is connected at a profound level that goes beyond the limits of ordinary space and time. Bohm launched the idea that there is a "implied order" from which emanates everything known to man. This same reflection to which arrives David Bohm since its field, physics, is that up Jung from the field of the science of the mind or Psychology when he referred to the archetypes (model paramount) as factors computers of human life. And his conception of the collective unconscious, which is one for the whole of humanity. That is to say, there are 7 billion inhabitants according to UN, 7 billion egos and a single collective unconscious for the entire humanity. Jung, personally, helped the development of Quantum Physics, teaching, guiding and directing in his ideas to the Nobel Prize of Physics Wolfgang Pauli. That is why the Professor Leon Azoulay incorporated into the program of training of Evolutionary Psychology an item about the Quantum Physics and its relationship with our psyche.